Anxiety..? Ugh, it’s all in your head.
I have been dealing with anxiety for sometime. I’ve always been vocal about it and wanted to jot down how I deal with it on a daily basis. Though I’ve come to fact that this is a part of who I am and accepted it, I still find it difficult to talk to about it wondering if it could affect my relationship with people or even my career.
Yup, I’ve always been scared of being wrong. The thought of being wrong or being judged accelerates anxiety to a whole new level. I allow myself to enter the world of frenzies over the most mundane things like walking into a room full of new faces or entering a supermarket to buy pringles. It is a lot of work for my puny brain to handle. What is the outcome? Being called Lazy! I may be lazy, but definitely not in this situation. Upon trying to explain this, they’d say, “You’re just being dramatic. Why are you worrying so much? Just gather yourself up, it’s all in your head!”.
Exactly!! IT IS ALL IN MY HEAD, and I’m aware of it! May be it is unconvincing for a few who love to be freaking enthusiastic always. Where do these people get their energy from? Why can’t I enter a room without having the fear of being judged? And this is how anxiety becomes my best friend at any moment any day, anytime!
But why does it bother me?
Well imagine that your brain tells you that you’re being watched 24X7 and one tiny mistake will make you a laughing stock which spikes up your anger and irritation, which provokes you to cuss every word in your dictionary, which in-turn leads to people thinking you’re a psychopath, which in-turn irritates you to the core and pisses you off making you wanna punch someone in their face which makes you even more anxious and ergo the infinite loop begins and never ends!
Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of the next one. Don’t hope for a life without problems. Instead, hope for a life full of good problems.
-Mark Manson, Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
What have I learnt so far?
Giving too many fucks is bad for you
-Mark Manson, Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck
I am who I am, irrespective of someone’s opinion. Yes, I love my pizza dripping with ketchup and I will never change this even if you’re judging me right now!
